Well...  first of all... it's 4am.  this is the second time tonight I've been up.  it sucks.  overnight tv... SUCKS!!  I didn't get my nap in yesterday, so I really thought I'd sleep through.  Nope.  Crap... CRAP!

i got out a little bit friday.  I went to see "Because I Said So" with my mom.  Good movie for mom & daughter.  Then I went to dinner with my mom, my fiance, and my Future Parents-in-Law.  it's been since before my surgery since I've seen them.  That, to me, is weird.  Their house has been like my 2nd home over the past year since Patrick moved back in with them to save for our house.    Anyway, Patrick and his father were wrestling each other for their credit cards to see who was going to pay for dinner.  It happens.  I managed to at least get away with getting mine & mom's check separate from theirs.  Anyway, ended up getting elbowed in the right boob by my fiance.  The FIL's are not aware of the breast augmentation... just the abdominoplasty.  I yelled out "Ouch!!"  Patrick felt really bad for it.  honestly, I was fine.  Hey!  I have a right boob to elbow!  haha!!

Anyway, so when I woke up for the second time tonight, I wanted to write.  Strange, huh?  Now I'm getting too tired to finish.  But let's see how far I can get.

*Sigh*  What a year this will be:
-- Surgery 9 days ago- I'm happy with the way things are turning out to be.  I currently weigh 153 lbs.  that's only 2 lbs more than the weight I was when I went in for surgery last week.  I know, that sounds high.  but for some reason, people thinks it works for me.  I was working on losing  a little bit...  but right now, my main goal is to HEAL from the surgery that is currently kicking my butt.  with every surgery before this, I thought I was almost fine by this point.  I guess it's different since I've got an incision that reach across both hips this time.    The dr told me it'll take a good 3-4 weeks for the swelling to go down.  So considering I've still got quite a bit of swelling around my hips, belly button, etc and still can't fit into my old pants, I really think I'm gonna end up at least a little lighter and at least 1 size smaller than I was.  That's good.  Especially since my figure will be more flattering at that point.  My biggest issue right now is that I can't wear anything but sweats!  I really didn't want to do this, but I think tomorrow we're going to have to hit up Old Navy Clearance racks to get some bigger jeans and work clothes just to friggin feel normal for a while.  anything sitting on my hips hurts like a bitch right now.  Oh, the price we pay to look better.  The tubes came out thursday.  yeah, that was a blast.  but it's over with now, so I'm happy.  Got my first real shower yesterday.  It took two steps.  I took off all of the binding and whatnot and ended up getting yucky lightheaded and had to lay down for a few minutes.  step 2 was to go back and actually get in the shower.  I would have made this multiple steps as well, but that's kinda difficult being dripping wet and having soap in my hair.  So, that was a hurry.  then came another rest before getting up and actually being able to get dressed and get ready.  I found a staple in my belly button.  that did NOT make me happy because I WILL end up on the floor when they have to take that out.  Yucky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-- during one of my "wake up at 3am" deals, the list of the next steps for the wedding just POPPED into my head.  I'm getting married.  Wow... thats so weird.  Fiance has been sick and I haven't spent much time with him since about monday.  we're reaching the point of it being the longest we've been apart.  But we had dinner together last night.  I know he doesn't want to get me sick, and at this point, i am full aware that I can't afford to get sick, either.  Anyway, I need to get patrick to work on his guest list, get his guys notified...  (Y'know, "ask" them to be in his wedding).  He's unsure of who he wants, I think.  I dunno.  He wants me, and that is the most important part ;)  I need to find a florist that isn't going to cost me my right arm and right leg.  I am rather fond of and attached to those.  The florist I found at the last bridal show would cost me like $450.  Ok, a starting point.  Now I know how much I DONT want to spend on flowers.  because that's just mine and 4 bride's maids bouquets, 5 boutenieres, and 2 mother's corsages.  Doesn't include any floral arrangements for decoration.  I know I'm at least going to need something for the table with the unity candle at the church.  Then, I'll take that and use it at the reception for SOMETHING.  Yep, flowers are pulling double-duty.  I think FMIL will help with decoration and possibly using silk flowers for decoration.  that way we can pay a little at a time for them instead of all at once like fresh flowers.  We'll see.  I also need to get with the lovely lady who is giving my cake for free as a wedding gift.  I need to sign contracts with my DJ and photographer, set a date for engagement pics, find a way to do cheap stationary myself (invites, response cards, place settings, and programs.  Are programs necessary?  Hmm...  Then, around April, I need to order my dress and the girl's dresses.  I found shoes, but need to find a tiara that *doesn't* cost $250, and a veil... and a hair style... and start thinking about decoration ideas.  That's the "Phase 2" list.  I think :)  after that, we'll see.  Then comes the hard part of the more detailed stuff.  I have 8 months and around 3 weeks.  Sounds like a while, and I'm not too concerned.  But I know these things can sneak up on ya.  I'm just trying to avoid that.

--  They're starting on our house in July.  Our house...  my house, where I got to help pick the color of the carpet.  I got to pick the color of the tile and countertops.  I got to decide important things like bathroom design, etc.  What kind of fence to put up for the puppy that will follow soon after.  I mentioned something about the first night of being married... maybe going to the Sybaris, because patrick is always teasing and saying "Let's spend our honeymoon there!"  His response was "You don't want to spend the first night in our new house?"  Oh yeah!!  Well, when you put it like that, of course I do!!!  On a side note, if the colts SWEEP the bears (Go COLTS anyway, but ESPECAILLY NOW!!!) apparently Ashley Furniture is going to have free furniture for 3 days!!!  Woo-hoo!!  I'm off work for medical leave anyway, so we WILL be going monday to pick out new FREE furniture.  I'm praying for a SWEEP.  yeah, yeah, I know... but wouldn't that be freaking awesome?!  We've got a lot of rooms to furnish, now!!  It's funny to get excited about some of the stuff we get excited about.  Ooh, we got a couple of chandaliers the other day!  Ok, I haven't seen them.  But Patrick picked them out the other day when I wasn't feeling well, and we have very similar taste in stuff when it comes to stuff for the house, so I'm not the slightest concerned :)  We also get to pick out wall color and decore for the whole house.  That's exciting to me, because it's all whatever we want, and that's awesome!!

Anyway, that's a lot of writing.  But it's going to be a busy year!!  I finally was able to do what I've wanted to do for myself for a LONG time, I'm marrying a man I love with all my heart and who makes me happy, makes me laugh when I need it, holds me when I cry... has taught me how to relax and enjoy life a little more, and to calm down and stop worrying over things I cannot control.  Not only that, but we're moving into this great house... living a life of our own.  It's going to be an exciting year!!  On top of everything else, whenever there's time (HA-HA!), Patrick and I are studying for GMAT tests.  I need to get in to take the prerequ classes to get into the MBA program at the local college... No pressure or anything :)

Much love!! If you read through all this, let me know.  You deserve a cookie!!  Trust me, after being out of work for 2 weeks, I'm going to owe a lot of people cookies!! What's one or two more?! ;)